A few years ago, I wrote that Augusta is a city of incongruities. It’s the Garden City but has a lot of funky smells. It has a Kroc Center close to a crack center. It has Arts in the Heart and a Soul Bar. It’s a city on the move until the trains roll into town.
Almost everybody gets a government check. Some get two or three. It’s the sixth worst in the nation for bad credit, but one of the best for bankruptcy lawyers.
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It ranks 135th out of 159 Georgia counties in health outcomes despite having plenty of hospitals and health-care providers. People in some areas of the county don’t have access to grocery stores, and some ZIP codes are so devoid of them, they’re classified as “food deserts,” but almost everybody’s fat.
In 2010, Forbes magazine ranked Augusta as the 23rd-strongest metro economy in the nation, and in 2012 it was ranked second for the growth of high-tech jobs over the past five years. Still, the unemployment rate is 9%, but that might be because when it comes to how educated the workforce is, compared to how educated it needs to be, it ranks in the bottom five cities in the country.
That was then. This is now:
It’s still the Garden City with a lot of funky smells. The Kroc Center
is still near a crack center, but the Kroc Center area will be transforming soon because of a $10 million gift from the Augusta National Golf Club and its corporate partners. That money will help build a non-profit community center to be known as “The Hub,” and new headquarters for the Boys and Girls Club of Augusta on a 35-acre tract owned by the MCG Foundation at 15th Street and John Calhoun Expressway.
Augusta still has Arts in the Heart but has curtailed its big annual celebration downtown because of Coronadoom as my friend Richard Noegel calls it. Augusta still has a Soul Bar. And it’s still a city on the move until the trains roll into town.
Almost everybody still gets a government check. And some still get two or three. And the bankruptcy lawyers are working overtime.
In 2010, Forbes ranked Augusta second in the nation for growth of high-tech jobs over the past five years, and cyber has continued to grow the Augusta economy as the U.S. Army Cyber Command grows at Fort Gordon. It just received an $8.5 million grant to connect Fort Gordon personnel with area cyber jobs. And Augusta was just named America’s 12th best city for people transitioning from active-duty service, according to a Navy Federal Credit Union funded study.
Augusta now ranks 129th out of 159 Georgia counties in health outcomes and 110th in health behaviors which includes tobacco use, diet and exercise, alcohol and drug use and sexual activity, according to the 2020 Georgia County Health Rankings.
The “food deserts” are even larger now that the 15th Street Kroger is gone, but almost everybody is still fat.
When it comes to education, Richmond County schools received an “F” on their 2018-19 report card from the Governor’s Office of Student Achievement School Grades Report. I could go into depressing detail here, but you all know how bad it is with a few exceptions. I feel so sorry for the children.
Augusta also wasn’t too far from last place in a 2019 analysis of the best and worst cities in the country to raise a family, conducted by WalletHub, a financial website. Augusta ranked 173rd overall (or ninth worst) out of 182 U.S. cities, compared with its 172nd spot in 2018, and 143rd rank in 2017.
According to Wallet Hub’s analysis, the metro where 25% of the population is considered impoverished ranked in the bottom 50 for all five dimensions measured. And it placed Number 17 in education and childcare, the eighth worst in the category.
In WalletHub’s analysis of Neediest Cities, Augusta ranked 11th out of 182; Detroit., Michigan, was first; Brownsville, Texas, second and Cleveland, Ohio, third.
How Dangerous is Augusta?
“The chance of becoming a victim of either violent or property crime in Augusta is 1 in 28. Based on FBI crime data, Augusta is not one of the safest communities in America. Relative to Georgia, Augusta has a crime rate higher than 70% of the state’s cities and towns,” NeighborhoodScout.com. states on its website.
Now the Good News
Despite all that, last year, Augusta was ranked first on a list of 25 “most neighborly” cities in the country by a Utah-based online marketplace and storage company. Salt Lake City was No. 2, and Columbia, S.C. was No. 3.
Also last year, Augusta was among three Georgia cities ranked as best places to retire, according to WalletHUb.
Augusta was ranked 75th; Atlanta ranked 22nd and Columbus was 135th. WalletHub compared 182 cities across four key dimensions “affordability, activities, quality of life and health care.”
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One Man’s Trash is Another Man’s Trash Talk
Augusta is a city of incongruities, and so is the Augusta government. Mayor Hardie Davis wants the city to transition its vehicle fleet into zero emission vehicles (electric). Meanwhile, commissioners scrapped the program that was supposed to have saved the planet – recycling – because it was losing money. But converting to electric vehicles is going to cost way more than the recycling program losses.
Now I wonder. Were the years of public service messages urging people to recycle to save the planet just fairytales?
Davis, who’s become a walking, Democrat talking-points talker, pushed to have city Administrator Odie Donald conduct a 60-to 90-day review of transitioning the city non-public safety vehicle fleet to electric vehicles.
“There have been several announcements in less than a month’s time,” Davis said during last week’s commission meeting. “The White House (think senile) as part of their comprehensive plans creating jobs, good jobs (think cancellation of the XL pipeline) and stimulating clean energy engines, they needed an executive order essentially for procuring electric vehicles as it replaces or expands (think expands) its government fleet.”
Commissioner Ben Hasan wanted Davis’ agenda item to go through the committee cycle for a full discussion.
“We may not want to get involved with electric vehicles for all intents and purposes,” Hasan said.
Then Commissioner John Clark set Davis up to get off and running again by asking him whether it was true that he’d made a resolution that by a certain year, Augusta would be green.
“And isn’t this a step in trying to achieve that?” Clarke asked.
“I believe that’s absolutely true,” Davis responded. “Over 450 cities across the country were part of the Paris Climate agreement conversation (think how they’re freezing in Texas while China’s building coal-fired energy plants as fast as they can.)
Davis went on to say that 85 percent to 90 percent of electric vehicles in the nation were made in Augusta.
“Whether it’s Club Car, Ingersoll Rand, EZ Go, the John Deere tractors, those vehicles are made in your community,” he said. “Those are good jobs (Democrat talking points.) We’re putting people to work on a daily basis (more Democrat talking points to detract from all the jobs we’re losing in the gas and oil industry because of left-wing loons.)
The Biden Grime Family
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A One Act Play on Words
Hunter: Good morning Big Guy and Dr. Biden. What happened with the Ukraine thing? Has that all been smoothed over?
Joe: You betcha! I told Poroshenko if he didn’t fire that prosecutor Viktor Shokin he would not get that $1 billion from the U.S. I even went on TV and said as much. You don’t remember that? You’re getting to be more like me every day. Here, I’ll play it for you as soon as I can find the remote. Where is that thing? I’ll just tell you about it.
I was on a trip to Kyiv in 2015, and I told the president of Ukraine, Petro Poroshenko, that he had to fire the prosecutor general or the U.S. would not release $1 billion in loan guarantees. I looked at them and said, “I’m leaving in six hours. If the prosecutor is not fired, you’re not getting the money.’ Then I took a long look my watch. And then I said, ‘Well, son of bitch.’ He got fired.
Hunter: Great, Big Guy! With us working together we can continue our Grime Family Operation to clean up and sell out the U.S. to China and make even more millions than ever.
Joe: Burisma was just the beginning, Son. Soon, we’ll be as rich from our trade deals with China as Mitch McConnell is from his wife’s father’s shipping contracts with the Chinese Communist Party and offshore tax havens. They estimate McConnell is worth about $22
million, but just wait until the old man dies.
Hunter: Which old man? Mitch or his wife’s father?
Joe: Her father.
Hunter: No wonder he went off on Trump from the floor of the Senate, saying Trump was guilty of insurrection. He doesn’t want anybody sinking his ship. He’s gotten rich from his wife’s father’s shipping contracts with the CCP just like we have. We really hit it big, Big Guy when we hooked up with Xi Jinping.
Joe: Shhh, Hunter! We don’t need to advertise that. So far, the media won’t talk about what we did to sell out America because they hate Donald Trump so much even though he kept them afloat. Truth is, CNN, CNBC and the rest of them would be bankrupt without Trump. Helps us though.
Hunter: I’ll try to keep that in mind, Big Guy. Now I’ve got to go take my laptop in for service. Hope to see you before we have to clean up any more garbage Trump and that MAGA riff raff spew about the election. Thank goodness for the mainstream media. And thank goodness, the Maricopa County Elections Board won’t let anybody see how all those dead people voted.
Joe: And Antrim County in Michigan. Don’t forget about them. Let’s just hope the garbage we need to bury, stays buried. If not, our deals with Xi Jinping could be jeopardized.
Hunter: God forbid that should happen! And while I’m thinking about it, Big Guy. You need to keep Uncle James and Uncle Frank from using you to make more money. We can’t be cleaning up if they’re doing too much cleaning up. We don’t want to draw more attention than necessary to the Biden Grime Family.
Joe: Don’t worry, Son. There’s plenty enough for everybody. But you’re right. We need to keep China on our side which is why I issued an executive order giving them access to our power grid again.
Hunter: You’re such a genius, Big Guy. But now I think you need to take your medicine and a nap, so you won’t forget what you had for breakfast again or start talking about those kids at the swimming pool rubbing your leg hairs. You know how the Republican soreheads try to make a federal case out of everything. We’ve got enough federal cases with their investigation of me. (Under his breath) Meanwhile, I’m going to go do some more crack.
Joe: What? What’s that you said? I‘m not so far gone I can’t hear what you said. And Hunter, I’ve told you and told you you’ve got to quit doing crack and messing around with teenagers.
Hunter: Don’t worry, Big Guy. There’s nothing big money can’t buy. Just look at the media, big tech and big business. They bought the election and put us, the Biden Grime Family, in control. They didn’t believe Trump, but Time magazine exposed the whole thing in a recent 6,000-word article that explained just how they did it. It was awesome. But honestly, Big Guy, I’m worried about the VP. I think you need a food taster.
Joe: You think? Hmmm. That might not be a bad idea. Uh, what was that you just said?
Hunter: I said I think you need a food taster.
Joe: Yes, I like the taste of food. Bring it to me down to the basement. I’ve got some executive orders to sign. Uh, where am I now? What am I doing? How did I get here?
Hunter: Oh for god’s sake, Big Guy. Go take a nap or something. You’re the president of the United States of America. You’re in control of the football.
Joe: I am? Really? I am? Are you sure?
Sylvia Cooper is a Columnist with The Augusta Press. Reach her at sylvia.cooper@theaugustapress.com
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