I had never been to the Columbia County Fair. I grew up going to the Western Carolina State Fair in Aiken, and I’d enjoyed the festivities in Augusta once or twice as an adult. But for as long as I’ve lived in the Augusta area in general, and Columbia County in particular, for some reason, I never got around to making it to those fairgrounds in Grovetown.
Since joining the staff at The Augusta Press as the Columbia County reporter, I figured it was high time to give it a go.
I should point out something about my history with fairs. I loved going on thrilling rides and pigging out on cotton candy, candy apples and other delicious carnival fare with obscene amounts of calories as much as the next kid.
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As an adult, however, my overall interest in the fall fair as an annual event mostly waned. I’m not exactly proud of the reason why, but I’ll admit: I got afraid of the rides. Something about hitting your 30s and having bills and sore joints on your mind doesn’t exactly soothe one’s anxiety when it comes to being hurled 30 or 40 or what feels like 1,000 feet in the air at that many miles an hour.
But, I said to myself, “I’ll slay that dragon tonight.”
I started off slow. My girlfriend and I rode down to the grounds off William Few Parkway. First thing I was impressed by was the meticulous and, from where I was sitting, slow but effective traffic guidance system they’d set up. The Columbia County Sheriff’s Office had all-terrain vehicle units up and down the grass, officers carefully escorting incoming drivers to spaces along the field.
There were so many cars and so many people. For an introverted fellow like myself, I’m always taken aback by any efficient way to herd crowds around.
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What should we do first? There was more than plenty. Perhaps we could admire the skill of the Hot Glass Academy’s glass blowing demonstration, or the winsome theatrics of the Aquatic Acrobatics Show.
We could marvel wide-eyed at all the animals in Eudora Petting Zoo (particularly the size of those horns on Maybelle the African watusi), or judge the quality of the giant dinosaur puppets at the Jurassic Kingdom show.
One of the attractions at the 2021 Columbia County Fall Fair was chainsaw carving. This was a recently-carved sculpture of a hummingbird. Staff photo by Skyler Q. Andrews. Glassblowing demonstration from the Hot Glass Academy, one of the attractions at the 2021 Columbia County Fall Fair. Staff photo by Skyler Q. Andrews. The Jurassic Kingdom show was one of the attractions at the 2021 Columbia County Fall Fair. Staff photo by Skyler Q. Andrews.
We did all of these things, of course. Actually, while the dinosaurs were striking, the audible astonishment and laughter of all the kids enjoying them were even more so.
Eventually, the time had come to conquer my fears. I needed to ride. What did I choose to overcome my trembling spirit? The treacherous Cyclops ride.
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It even looked like a mythical monster. A set of hanging seats in a circle on a pole that swings it to and fro. I’ve always been fascinated and existentially terrified at how these rides are designed to keep you secure while making you feel the opposite.
The line took about 20 minutes, during which I prayed and pleaded and went back and forth in my head. But I stayed the course.
The trick to getting through these rides, I’ve found, is, ironically, staying calm and keeping your eyes open the whole time. Let the moment pass over you, embrace it, feel everything and welcome the rush.
That, and just kind of not care about dying for about five minutes.
The adrenaline, and everything else, came with it. All right, Columbia County. You’ve hooked me.
Skyler Q. Andrews is a staff reporter covering Columbia County with The Augusta Press. Reach him at skyler@theaugustapress.com.
