With a panel of local bullying experts and keynote speaker, Venus Morris Griffin, the Columbia County School District hosted a community talk about bullying awareness and prevention at Evans High School on Thursday evening, Dec. 8.
Director of Student Support for the district, Michael Johnson, started off the event by defining what Columbia County considers bullying — it includes a physical, verbal or online threat which induces feelings of fear for one’s safety or powerful intimidation.
Johnson said, as a result of bullying, suicide has increased and the problems need to be addressed. According to a district survey, about 33% of students reported being bullied or threatened, while 56% reported being picked on or teased.
Katy Towns, the student support counselor for Evans High, said she often encourages her own children to discuss their day by having each communicate “the high, the low and the buffalo” — the latter symbolizing the unexpected thing that occurred.
She also pointed out how reporting bullying is oftentimes extremely daunting for students, as the principal’s office can be highly intimidating and foreign to them. This means students would be more likely to report incidents to teachers or other faculty, who they have a strong bond with.
Town emphasized how a survey showed that approximately 70% of students from the county school district agreed or strongly agreed they know an adult within their school building, which they can trust if they need help.
Griffin, a local real estate legend, followed Town’s suggestions by discussing her early-on life challenges as her mother struggled with addiction. She recalled the years she spent feeling ashamed, and how she desired nothing more than to be like every other child.
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“As I learned to navigate through life and I got a little older, I remember going through really extreme measures to try and keep my home life a secret because I was afraid of being bullied by my peers at school,” said Griffin. “I remember as a child being terrified … I didn’t want anyone to know what I was going through, because I thought everybody else had it figured out.”
Down the road, she also dealt with an incarcerated spouse, and explained how her family, consisting of six children, overcame hardships and bullying through sheer willpower, faith and familial love.
“You know we have a choice in how we handle that kind of information; you can become a victim or we can give our kids the tools to realize that everything happens for a reason,” she said. “No matter what you come from and no matter what’s happened to you, you don’t have to live in shame.”
She suggests to her children they surround themselves with peers who are better, because they will challenge and uplift those around them.
“We all handle adversity and bullying differently,” she said. “I tell my kids, it’s not the big things that will set you apart from other people — it’s the little decisions and the little things … you can choose, no matter what your circumstances are, to know they’re temporary, and choose to still focus on yourself and happiness.”
She believes life is composed of trials about 10% of the time, and the other 90% is how one chooses to handle them. She said it is a parent’s job to educate children on how to handle life’s hardships, so they can avoid making poor decisions for their future.
“If you live long enough, every single one of you will either live through something really hard, you’re in the middle of it or you will go through it,” she said. “Where we go wrong is that we try to hide it, keep everything a secret and pretend we’re perfect; then we look at all our friends around us and think they’re perfect, and then we internalize that and we become depressed and anxious.”
Griffin said adversity is inevitable and people have to learn how to overcome them. She ended her talk with emphasizing how children need to be taught to never be ashamed of where or who they came from, to have confidence in themselves and to face bullying head on instead of allowing it to swallow a person whole.
Afterwards, the local anti-bullying panel answered audience questions and gave advice on how to handle different situations as parents.
As a mother of two, associate professor of Counselor Education at Augusta University, Margaux Brown, said she knows parents worry about their children not telling them everything and struggling with that communication.
“That’s okay — it doesn’t have to be you that they tell. As long as they are sharing with someone, … and if that person isn’t you then that’s okay. In fact, that’s kind of normal,” said Brown. “By about 12, … they’re pretty regularly doing that with peers and romantic partners, and before then that’s happening with peers and teachers.”
Brown said parents just need to be sure that children are openly sharing with someone, whomever that may be. According to her, if parents are seen to be a trusted individual, they need to validate the child and truly listen.
Attending senior student, Chloe Love, said she had trouble communicating with her parents because she faced conflict with them after sharing some hardships.
“It was pushed away as ‘oh you’re young, you’re just joking,’ so I find it hard to open up with them because they look at it as a joke,” she said. “Now it’s hard for me to go to a guidance counselor and talk still, because I feel like I’m not going to be understood … so now it’s not easy to open up to anybody.”
In response to her, while opening up may be uncomfortable, Griffin said Love needs to be secure in her own worth and value, and force herself to overcome those negative associations with sharing.
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“The more you open up and do it, the easier it will get,” Griffin said. “You just have to commit to your mental health, and don’t give up on yourself. You’ve got to find that person you can confide in. You have to keep going.”
For those who might be parenting a bully, Cherdrina McCray, a Social Services Supervisor for the Georgia Division of Family and Children Services, said it often stems from a trauma within the child’s life.
“As a parent, I would suggest some solution focused therapy to ensure that your child has all their trauma examined. Most times they are victims … especially of sexual abuse,” she said.
Panel members also suggested community extracurriculars outside of school activities to instill new interests for those being bullied or are leading the bullying.
Teka Jenkins, Executive Director of the Columbia County Community Connections, said her department strives to provide a variety of easily accessible activities for children within the district.
“We believe in making sure that our children have access to different programs, so they can have a safe environment where they can talk with other peers,” she said. “I absolutely believe in my own child being involved in outside activities to have different perspectives, outside of school. From a child’s standpoint, school isn’t always a safe space, so give them healthier options. Whether that’s sports, clubs or personal hobbies, I think that’s a great outlet for children.”
The next Columbia County Community discussion will be held on Jan. 23, 2023, and will focus on anti-gang activity. The location and time will be announced on the school district’s Facebook.
To find out more about Griffin’s story and her scholarship for those that face adversity, visit: https://lnk.bio/venusmorrisgriffin/
Liz Wright is a staff writer covering education and general assignments for The Augusta Press. Reach her at liz@theaugustapress.com
