Father’s Day is the day we give our dads a new necktie and treat them to lunch (which they usually end up paying for). However, Father’s Day should be less a Hallmark holiday and more of a celebration of manhood and mentorship.
Over the past decades, the role of father figure has diminished greatly in American society. In many sectors of society, it has become acceptable for the father to become nothing more than a sire who moves on to allow others to raise his offspring.
Despite the mainstream media’s open hostility towards masculinity, studies have proven over and over that the vast majority of individuals incarcerated for crime and those with lifelong drug addiction grew up in one parent households.
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Fathers can bring stability, direction and discipline into the lives of children. Much of the time, those values are taught not by words, but by actions.
When I was growing up, my father, Tommy Hudson, was like a giant of a man to me. He was the type of man to snuggle us kids into bed at night and wake the family up on Saturday mornings and proclaim we were going to have a family fun day.
More often than not, those spur of the moment road trips turned out like a Griswold family outing, which my dad always handled with good humor.
Tommy was also a strict disciplinarian who could stop me in his tracks with a turn of his head and a glare. Indeed, the scariest phrase to me growing up was my mother telling me, “Just wait until your father gets home.”
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I loved my father and I thought he would be around forever, but that was not meant to be. When I was 12, Tommy lost his battle with cancer and suddenly, the guy that I thought was Superman, was lying in a casket.
My father did not speak much about his illness to me, even when he knew the end was near. My father died with the knowledge that his widow and his children would be taken care of.
Throughout his life, Tommy forged lifelong friendships with other men and he knew those men would step up in his absence.
They did.
My Uncle Van stepped in immediately and even though he had three kids of his own, made sure that especially my brother and I had a male mentor in our lives.
On one occasion, completely out of adolescent idiocy, I decided to run away from home. I didn’t get very far. By ten o’clock that night, tired and hungry and knowing my mother was probably frantic, I called Uncle Van to come pick me up.
Before dropping me off at my mother’s house, Van took me to his house and gave me the whooping I richly deserved and guess what? I never pulled that stunt again.
One of my father’s close friends, Alan Smith, also made it a point to be active in my life. Alan would call the house just to say hello, ask me how school was going and ask if I needed anything. Every conversation always ended with Alan reminding me that he was always praying for me.
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Alan would later officiate at my wedding and as I looked into the eyes of my beautiful bride and recited my vows, I got the distinct feeling that Tommy was standing right next to Alan as he proclaimed Jeannie and me husband and wife.
When my mother remarried, my stepfather, Jim McDow, understood that he was taking on the responsibility of helping raise another man’s children and he took that responsibility seriously.
Tommy was a character like Arthur Fonzerelli and Jim more like Ned Flanders. Indeed, probably the only thing those two men had in common is that they both liked motorcycles and pretty red-headed women.
However, Jim took to the role of being a dad to us children with a kind and patient attitude while also making it clear that he was the man of the house.
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As I prepare to celebrate my 50th orbit around the Sun, I know that if I need guidance on some issue, Jim, Van and Alan are only a phone call away.
Even though I lost my father early in life, I feel blessed to have so many father figures and mentors that I can lean on for advice to this day.
Father’s Day is a celebration of those men who actively raise the next generation in hopes that their kids, biological or otherwise, will want to grow up to be like them.
Scott Hudson is the Editorial Page Editor of The Augusta Press. Reach him at scott@theaugustapress.com.
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