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Somebody’s Doing Something about Problems besides Just Talking / Divorces are Bad, but So Are Unhappy Marriages / Gone to the Dogs
Do Not BOLO: Due to technical difficulties beyond my control, there will be no column tonight. The technical difficulties were that late in the day I accidentally deleted a column I’d been working on all day. The “beyond my control” part isn’t exactly true. It wasn’t beyond my control. I’m the one who did it. Accidentally. I had an online chat with Justine at Microsoft who told me I need to set up a backup system. It would be nice if she’d come out here and show me how, but that’s asking a little too much.
Captions for the column were:
“Somebody’s Doing Something about Problems besides Just Talking.”
“Divorces are Bad, but So Are Unhappy Marriages”
“Gone to the Dogs”
Too bad they’re gone. But I wanted to have something to give you, so I dashed off this Christmas poem. I think you’ll agree it’s pretty bad, but I didn’t have much time.
T’was
T’was the night before Christmas and throughout the Garden City
Santa had already come, more’s the pity.
He’d filled the new administrator’s stocking with cash and care
In hopes that the taxpayers still would be there
When the tax bills went out, and that they hadn’t fled
To neighboring counties, tired of being bled.
Sheriff Richard Roundtree was dreaming of spending his $50,000 allocation,
Torn between crime prevention and a spring vacation.
Augusta’s mayor and commissioners were also snug in their beds
While visions of OPM danced in their heads,
Of SPLOST, T-SPLOST and rain taxes galore.
They’d have to have a special called meeting
To come up with more.
And Hardie was dreaming of the Biden administration
Where he’d lead an important American legation
To Paris and China and then on to Rome
Where he’d visit the Vatican and meet the Pope
Who’d keep him there. We can only hope.
And over in Columbia County, they dreamed of their own judicial circuit.
They just want a chance to show they can work it.
But Richmond County says the divorce would cost too much,
Upset the judges’ routines and such.
But everyone knows, and it’s undeniable
That divorces are necessary when differences are irreconcilable.
But in the spirit of Christmas, peace was prevailing
Until out on Broad Street, the sirens began wailing.
We all sprang from out beds to see what was the case;
Then breathed a sigh of relief to see
It was just another high-speed chase
Sylvia Cooper is a Columnist with The Augusta Press. Reach her at sylvia.cooper@theaugustapress.com
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