A memorable line from the Brothers Grimm fairy tale “Little Snow White” was “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who in this land is fairest of all?”
Opinion
As you get poised, prepared and ready to raise-the-bar on your personal productivity, effectiveness and success, you need to fully define (and come to reality with) the who, what and where of yourself individually.
Mirrors never lie. There is no running from your personal realities and time-proven traits (and habits). Deceiving others is relatively simple. Deceiving yourself is inordinately impossible. When you try to deceive yourself into thinking you’re someone or something that you’re not, it never ends well. You can become your worse enemy with self-deception that ultimately helps build those internal barriers you create to postpone and procrastinate action as well as derail you from your proposed quest for success.
There has never been a substitute for honesty. Consider that many of us have said, “…the best time to start my diet is on a Monday or the first of the month…” Some think (and procrastinate) bigger and avoid starting that diet until the first of a new year. Why can’t you start a major change in your life mid-afternoon on a Wednesday? When you try to deceive yourself as to who you are and what you truly will do, you become your own enemy. Consider Walt Kelly’s words from his classic 1960 cartoon strip, “Pogo,” “We have met the enemy and he is us.”
If over the years, you’ve talked a lot about learning how to play a musical instrument, then come to grips with yourself. Are you really in a place in your life where you have the time for lessons and dedicated practicing? Is it still important to you now? Are there other “bucket list” items, desires and aspirations that are more important? This is a time for deep personal reflection. It’s surely the time to go back to the mirror for answers.
Here is a pragmatic, systemic approach to making important life decisions and some things you might consider when defining your “who,” your “what” and your “where” so you can make the best decisions so you can attack new opportunities.
- Do an emotional download. Forget what you think about moving toward a new activity or objective. Focus more on how you feel about it all first.
- Clearly define your own expectations. What do you really want (and need) to get out of the new you… and the new objectives you’re setting?
- Don’t ask anyone for help. This is all about you and needs to be your decision. It’s nobody’s business whether you should take piano lessons, learn to play golf, strive to run a marathon, or change your profession. People will always counsel you through their own lens. Important decisions in your life aren’t collaborative. You need to be decisive.
- Understand that life decisions cost us something. Whether it’s time, money, or other personal resources, growing forward always comes with a cost.
- Try hard to whittle your life choices down to two options. The more choices you have, the longer it will take you to make a decision and the more likely the process will become confusing and frustrating.
- Be a consultant and advisor to yourself. I’ve found that if you pretend you’re advising a relative or friend on the decision you’re trying to make, you’ll likely come up with new thoughts that will profoundly open your eyes to the logical conclusion. It’s always easier counseling others. Why not use that same advice on yourself?
- Be a contrarian to yourself. Don’t spend all your time focusing on all the reasons why you should learn to play golf, start painting with oils, enroll in a language class, take an exotic trip, or start volunteering in the community. Spend some time focusing on the reasons why you shouldn’t do something. This will help put the decision in perspective.
It’s all about the mirror. It should guide you toward all you do and all you don’t do.
The wonderful thing about life is that it’s filled with opportunities and a huge range of choices. Whether it’s business, recreation, sport, education, music, art or some other endeavor, looking toward new frontiers, new skills, new activities, new challenges, and new opportunities is a simple process. It’s all about you. Mirrors never lie.
Dr. Wayne Dyer wrote, “There’s only one boss in your life… and that’s you! The person looking back in the mirror at you is the one you have to answer to every day.”
Ira Blumenthal is a business consultant, a Georgia resident, a best-selling author, a globally renowned public speaker, a university educator and a college Lacrosse coach. Ira welcomes inquiries and can be reached at Ira@Iraspeak.com. His web site is www.IraSpeak.com
